Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Revelation of a fulltime worker

I praise God how His word is so clear and loud. The Bible is the word of God, He speaks to us through the bible, we do not need to search from others books. The bible is the book of life!

Being a fulltime worker is never easy. Until now I would not denial but say that I still struggle sometimes. I would have many questions and insecurity and most of all I would struggled on how much I would actually risk to walk at the edge and how much I can trust God with my life. Sometimes it is a daily struggle. Maybe this is what God meant to die to self and carry His cross daily. Everyday, I need to fight against my own disbelief, doubts, insecurities, and struggles, that I may died to self so I can fully serve others more effectively. After writing this, I think these struggles are good hahaha.

God's word is sweet. God took every opportunities to affirm me of my calling to serve Him fulltime.

I was doing my "read the bible in one year" and I'm in the book of Exodus (You probably saying "Oh dear...") haha but this time I found Exodus as alive as ever!!

I was reading Exodus 28:1-5 "The priestly Garment"

Here I realized that God cares very much for His fulltime workers. He has so much favors upon them. In verse 2 God said the Moses, "Make sacred garments for your brother Aaron, to give him dignity and honor."

God wants all His fulltime workers to have dignity and honor because we are representing Him. How sad it is that today we find fulltime workers involving in drinking, smoking, long hair (haha very controversy issue), tattoo and a worldly lifestyle.

In verse 3 "Tell all the skilled men to whom I have given wisdom in such matters that they are to make garments for Aaron, for his consecration, so he may serve as priest."

Maybe you would ask, if I'm not a fulltime is that mean I can't participate in God's work. You are wrong. In verse 3 said that God has give you specific skills which may not be preaching or teaching or worship leading or not in fulltime. But He has given you specific gifts so as in verse 3, God want to involve you. You can help to make garment for Aaron :) You can participate by helping the priest in their daily provision so that God can lighten up these burden of the priest and so they can focus fully on God's work. You play a major role, without your provision and help the priest work may be difficult.

In verse 4-5 (read yourself ya)

God said in verse 5 "Have them use gold, and blue, purple and scarlet yarn, and fine linen"

God will give the best to His workers. He will not give them second best but the best.

Being in fulltime, our salary is not much and we actually have lots of insecurity. We may be insecure that we won't able to get marry because we spend so much time in the ministry (me me me me) or we may be insecure because we find all our friends have big cars and big house or we may be insecure because we do not earn much money and you are wondering how can you provide for your children in the future.

No need to worry any more........ :)))))))))

Because God is going to give you THE BEST resource to you. He will not give you money riches because that is never the best :P It is not the world best, but God give what best for you. :)

Rest in Him o partners in ministry.

-a fulltime worker :) -

Thursday, February 4, 2010


Just came back from the burial service of Madam Tai Futt Ying. She is the grandmother of Tricia, one of the youths which I'm serving. At about 10:30AM this morning, we accompanied the body of Madam Tai all the way from her house to the burial place and watch until the last shaft of mud covered over the casket.

It was a very emotional moment seeing the family member, one by one, saying a "real" goodbye to their mother, grandmother and even great grandmother as they laid the flowers on her casket.

One deepest pain about funeral is having the person no longer present in your world. You will not be able to see her or him even again. The deepest pain is missing that person.

Each person is important because everyone hold a special place in the heart of others around them. How ironic that the word "Good bye" uses so often in our daily routine.. but when it say it in a funeral.. it became so heavy, because it may be good bye for a long long time.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Exodus 20:24-26

I love the Bible because it is living and it keep talking to me.

I was looking back on my posts in this blog and I realized that how many times I have wrote negligently especially with my language. Gosh, I wish I will take blogging more seriously and that my God's name will be glorified and know through this blog. Oh Lord Jesus, may you grant me the wisdom and the gift of writing that in my blog, many would hear about Your name.

In my morning devotion, (I was still grasping through the Bible in one year) today, my reading is on Exodus 19-21. My heart stopped (literally )when I read Exodus 20:24-26 because God was speaking to me through these few verses.

Exo 20:24 - "Make an altar of earth for Me and sacrifice on it your burn offerings and fellowship offerings; your sheep, goats and cattle.

Meaning of burnt offering ( In Hebrew it means "ascending" where the whole being consumed by fire and as regarded that the whole being is ascended to God.

Meaning of fellowship offering ( Another word for fellowship offering is "peace offering" or "thank offering". This indicate that he person who offer the offering already reconciled and make peace with God.

In explanation: This very verse in Exo 20:21 is urging us to come before the Lord in bringing burn offering and fellowship offering to Him, which in laymen term it mean bringing our lives which included our body, desires, hopes, sorrows and pain to "ascend" it all to God. (which also included out sins, as we confessed our sin it is ascend to God and in return we receive forgiveness). We are also to bring an fellowship offering to God, in laymen term it mean a relationship with God. We can go to God and have a relationship with Him because we have reconciliation through the blood of Jesus Christ, so now we are called into sonships.

Action: As a whole being offered all that I have included our goats, sheep, cattle (in today's word, it mean my possessions, house, desires, money, career, and etc) to God
And also because of what Jesus has done I am now having a relationship with Him.

Have I surrender all that I have to God today? and Am I having a relationship with Him, bringing to Him our sins and to reconcile with Him?

Exo 20:24 - {NIV) Wherever, I caused my name to be honored, I will come to you and bless you.
NLT : "build my altar wherever I caused my name to be remembered, and I will come to you and bless you.

Today, to build God's altar mean the place "where God appeared" and it many times build as an memorial that God appeared.

God's altar today is Christian. We are God's altar because our body is the temple of God now (1 Cor 6:19) and a lot of time our lives is as memorial of the presence of God in this world. Which is why it is so important for us in our action, and live to keep an good memorial of GOD, so other see our lives and would see God.

The most lovely verse came after that when He say "I will come to you and bless you" - It is an guarantee, a seal covenant that God is blessing His altars (Christian, His children). Oh What a great comfort! What a great comfort. :) I'm opening my hand, to receive His blessing.... hey, you should try that too :)

Action: Is my life show a good memorial of God or the other way? I, as the altar have the responsibility to Glorified God's in our action and lives.

wowowow... one verse already God says so much to me. I will learned from Him. Got to go now... will continue hopefully ;p

Sunday, January 24, 2010


How ironic that in this time of the world, the word "peace" is so seldom being pursuit or even being mentioned at all.

"Peace" is not the attraction to this generation; money, career, pleasure are the attraction for this generation. People can go through wicked ways or very selfish way to get what they want even though they need to forgo "peace". Someone, the attracting to the later is much more important to them.

But how sad, because in the end we would know that we will get nothing back in return.

Friday, January 22, 2010

23 Jan

Where should I begin.... life indeed begin in our mind.
When our mind is not healthy, our body will follow and our lives will then deteriorate.
But when our mind is happy, positive and healthy, our lives will be at the other climax.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

My pain

Again, I fell from my bike. This is not the first time.
The more I fall the more painful it gets, it so painful that I begin to feel numb.
I have no more tears to share.

I wish someone would come to my heart and stay one night to understand the misery and pain that I'm going through. Yes, I have no illness disease, no losing of my family member, my country do not have the earthquake like in Haiti but my heart is grieving with so much pain of the experience of falling from the bike. It was one of the most challenging lesson of my life. And.. I'm still learning.

I asked the Lord, "God, would you spare me?" I have enough, I would not want to ride a bike anymore. I could not understand why will I still fall from the bike even though I have did all the best that I can to prevent myself from falling and I was riding with all the protection and with great care.

"Not again.." I was telling the Lord.

I took a moment, and just be quiet before Him because at this point I could not cry anymore. I begin to listen.

I was reading a book from Elisabeth Elliot and here she quote from Paul "What do you possess that was not given you?"

God has given me everything and I need to acknowledge that all the event and things in my life was permitted by Him. It is not out of control that I fell again but it is in HIS control, so I fell.

And because all from God, all i need to offer it back to Him.

"Having given my all, I may specifically offer my time, my work, my prayers, my possessions, my praise, and --- yes --- my sufferings." -EE

I then put out my both of my hand and lift it up toward heaven and say, "Lord, I offer this suffering to you. This suffering comes from You and I accept the lessons you want to teach me behind it."

The thought of the songs "Blessed be Your Name" where the lyrics sang
"You gave and take away
You gave and take away
My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name."

The power to offer up our suffering to God is a step to victory but it does not mean the pain will be gone in a zap. It will still be there... but the different will be, you able to walk through this thorny road with a HOPE. HOPE knowing that God is at the other side, opening His arms waiting to say, "Well done, my faithful daughter."

May the name of Christ be praise and glorified.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Malaysia needs You - (Song by Passion, Breathe)


God has been gracious to me, His servant. Such an unworthy and undeserving Ruth, yet He still loves me and constantly reveals to me His riches treasure of His knowledge and understanding in the Bible. I could not have thank Him enough.

Just as it was said, "All things come of Thee, O Lord and of Thine own have we given Thee." Lord, we give you all things because all things have been given by You. This is our offering.

I asked God, what is happening to our country and world. Lord, please let me know what is happening? The Lord answered me in my daily devotion as I do the Cover to Cover devotional guide.

As I was reading through the chapter in Exodus, the situation in Egypt is very similar to the situation in our world now.

1) Exodus 3:7 - The Lord said, "I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey .."

Our world is groaning in pain and people are being oppressed by violent and wickedness.

"In Aceh, a students in Langsa, who experienced a return to violence, when she was allegedly raped by three sharia policemen. The strong reaction is not only related to the rape itself but the authority of the Sharia police. Another case, a students and a male friend were arrested, while the man was released while she was raped by the members of Wilayatul Hisbah "

"Haiti is among the four most important countries for drug transit to the United States. Law and order in Haiti is deteriorated as a result. Kidnapping, death threats, murders, drug related shootouts, robberies are common in Haiti."

2) Exodus 8-11 : The plagues of Blood, Frogs, Gnats, Flies, Livestock, Boils, Hail, Locusts, Darkness and Firstborn.

God is doing something to those who have wickedness in their nation. Those nation who do not fear God and defiled the name of the LORD. They will see plagues and what we are seeing here in Aceh, Haiti, Malaysia is only the beginning.

In Aceh, December 2004 - Almost 2% of the whole population in Aceh lost their lives during the Tsunami. 500,000 were left homeless and approximately 230,000 were killed.

In Haiti 12 January 2010 : A catastrophic magnitude 7.0 M earthquake hit Haiti, it claimed 100,000 to 200,000 lives at least.

Verse 10:3 said "How long will you refuse to humble yourself before me?"

Lessons I learned

Truly God is majesty. He is the author and the perfecter of our FAITH.
He is a God who has PLANS for His children, PLANS to Prosper us, and not to Harm us, PLANS to give us HOPE and a FUTURE.

Just as the praises sings in Jeremiah 10:12 "But God made the earth by His power, he founded the world by His WISDOM and stretched out the heavens by his understanding."

Malaysia needs You

Malaysia needs You.

The Malaysia's flag had stand tall and the strong wind made the flag look like a peaceful wave. Today, I passed by Dataran Merdeka, where located the tallest poll that hang our dearest Malaysia's flag.

As I was driving pass the flag, the song of my MP3 was playing the song "Breathe". It was singing "I'm desperate for You, I'm lost without You." It was a moment for God and I. God revealed to me that Malaysia need Him, that I need Him.

It is time, His eyes will be upon Malaysia.
It is time, He has heard enough the cries of His people who were under oppression and injustice.
It is time, He will come and bring judgment upon our land.
It is time, He will bring Hope to our land, that our sins can be forgiven through Jesus Christ.

My heart as fell from a tall building, Lord, I confessed my sins and the sins of our country. O Lord, we need You. Our country is desperate for You. O God, we are lost without You. Malaysia desperately need You, as I am speaking here Lord, even I desperately need You. O God, come O Lord. Come.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

It's a new begining

How ironic it is, when every single time I told myself that it's going to be a *new beginning*, it's actually not. This is the problem with most girls, we are just too optimistic and always hopeful. The statement "what if?" lives with us for the rest of our lives.

We want to break free from a wrong relationship, so we tell ourselves "ok ok ok, this is going be the last time I'm going to chat with him. /It will be the last time I'm going to hear his phone, /It will be the last time I'm going to see him...." "Today will be a new begining!!" However, after the sun came up the next day, we find ourselves fall back to the same trap again.

It is harder for a woman to get off from the train that is going the wrong direction compare to man because we would like to wonders and wonders, what if the train would have a miracle and then go to the direction that we want to.


We are wishing honey to come out from the rock. Well, I'm not saying that it is an insane request especially when God is involve in the picture. God can really make honey come out from the rock.

Every hope with God is a possibility , every hope without GOD is just foolishness especially when we wait for cow to drop from heaven!! lol.. ;p

I have problem dealing with relationship. Well, just like every strong man have their weak point. Samson's weak point was on his hair. My weak point is dealing with relationship. Man, I'm a big loser in that, a F students for that subject, and I'm one of them that would resit for that same unit year after years until the North Pole stop giving snow. "When will I learn and graduate from this relationship class?" It is the question that I always wondered.

People often curious when they know that I'm still single. As if they do not believe it. No good reason.. it just that they don't believe at my age I'm still single. However, every kind hearted would try to comfort me by simply says, "Don't worry Ruth I can sense that God will give you one soon....!!" The word soon.. sound like soooooooooooooooooooooon.

It took me many years to truly understand why God did not provide me a life partner sooner than it should be. You see, Our Amazing Loving God will never be late :)

The answer to why God still as me to wait is dan dan dan..... I'm just not ready. God is still equipping me and molding me to be the noble wife for him. Who is him? Superman.. (sorry la.. trying to make a joke ma.) Who is him? dan dan dan... only God knows (lol ;p)

Basically, I do not know who God has prepared for me but I am praying for him everyday for God's protection and God's teaching that he may be a godly man who loves God and have the heart for God's ministry.

God may take awhile to equip me because it was my prayer that I will become a noble wife for him. It is a big prayer... so it's right to wait. Just like a saying "in every good thing it take time" hehehe SS pulak.

Ok enough of my nonsense today... bye.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Today's world!

I am a sinner but I Praise God that in His grace I am saved.

I'm not higher than anyone else or more holy than anyone else... basically, I'm someone who just love Jesus and following Jesus. I do not know everything, all I know is what written in the bible would be the truth, and I would simply follow it.

This morning, I was listening to a few sermons from the preachers in the U.S. and I realized that most of their sermons are talking on false teaching, which has rapidly increased in that continent today.

Many churches has adopted their programs and teachings being culturally relevant but on the other hand they was guilty of watering-down the gospel. All they want is to play church and not saving souls for Jesus Christ. False teaching is indeed the greatest obstacle for Christian in their work to save soul for Jesus Christ.

Many false teachers came out with so many theories that sounded nice and correct in the ear of the hearer, and some even forcefully used the name of Jesus, and used the love of Jesus to enforce their ugly, despicable, wicked ways. Some of them would cleverly used the Word of God to rebuke you and they would make you feel guilty of not accepting their teaching.

I have a very good friend, who was serving in the ministry with me. Sadly. he has went astray and wicked in his way. He is no longer in the ministry. He became involve in homosexuality and start teaching others that Christian should accept homosexual and tattoo. The first time I heard him, I was convinced especially when he told me about the love of Jesus who will not despise sinner. However, later with God's wisdom and grace I soon realized that he was actually using the love I have Jesus to make me feel guilty of hating the sin of homosexuality.

He would revealed to me all those bible passages and stories that show of the love of Jesus to all kind of people esp sinners. He would told me that I should not be fundamental in my thinking and start to open myself to become more liberal because that is the only way I can save more soul for Jesus. I love my Lord Jesus Christ. I truly felt guilty when he said that and that I should not despise the sin of homosexual and should practice more love to sinners.

How wicked is a false teacher. How shameful are them!!!!

I would tell him this. Yes, Jesus love everyone and most of all Jesus love sinners like you and I. Again, I do not claim that I am higher than you because both of us are sinners. But you are wicked by using my love for Jesus to make me feel guilty of hating sins and especially homosexuality. Don't talk to me about Jesus' love for people because you have not love when you teach the young people about things which are not biblical correct. Is this loving Jesus? Don't talk to me about Jesus' love when you encourage the youth to do tattoo? Is this loving Jesus? Don't talk to me about Jesus' love when you sexually violate a young boy. Is this loving Jesus? Don't talk to me about Jesus' love when you are doing the things which God hate? Is this loving Jesus?

Yes, I do hate homosexual people because they have come out with all those theories that sounded nice and right but not biblical, yet they was only trying to make themselves feel better. I hate those who want to sin and then use bible to justify their wicked way and trying to stumble faithful Christian when they just trying to help. Shame on you! However, I am only speaking this as a man. But your Lord, Jesus Christ still loves you.

How my heart burden and crying out to the young generation in today's world that i do not know how more I should emphasis this that knowing the BIBLE is not just important but it is a NECESSITY if we want to survive to be biblical faithful in this wicked generation. We (even myself) need to start praying and soak in His word all the time....

Friday, November 6, 2009


It has been a long while that I update my blog... ermm I wonder how the regular bloggers maintain an updated account all the time because I realized one week I will be the most consistent blogger and the next moment I would just ....... (silence)

Anyway, today is the first day my little blog clothed with this new dress (again thanks to Andy) so with much respect I should write something.

I'm writing this in the office, almost everyone has left the office except Denice and Munteck who are having choir practice in second floor.. to drown the sound of silence, I'm blasting as loud as possible the Leeland album, which given by Matt... it rocks. Love the Leeland!!

Well, let see what happened today......

Today, it was an interesting day. Sister Kim Chee brought me to meet Pastor David Goh who is humble and lovely pastor that have the gift for healing and ministering. It was a schedule for me to share my trouble with him so he can pray with me. Errrmm.. they mentioned sometime about "inner healing". This was actually my first approach of inner healing. Well, I'm baptist what do you expect ;p

It was ok.. not as scary as I would have thought. I was imagining I would jump off and roll over the floor or something like that (please forgive me.. it's my lack of experience) But he simply led me though a powerful, impact, breakthrough kind of prayer. Healing in relationship with my family and friends. It was coooool... and NO I did not jump off from the chair or roll over the floor. I was on my best appropriate position.. on my knee.

Man, I'm still coughing like nobody business.. I felt as if my lung would fall off anytime.

Thanks for reading my blog, I would try to update more... May the love of Jesus Christ wrap all over you and compels you. Jesus love you. dress for my blog!

Thanks to Andy bro.. :)

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

mission trip in Philippines 09'

Mission Trip Philippine: 19 May – 25 May 2009

Even though I have been a human being for almost 30 years (This coming 14 October will mark the exact 30 years in planet earth. Purposely mentioning my birthday to everyone... coming soon ahh!!), yet I have no idea what it mean to live. What is the exact value of being a human?

Eventually, we are teaching the new generation that studies and exams were their life, and as they grow up then work will become their life. Is that all the reason to be born into this world? Is life all about getting a good career or to get good grades? If that is the ‘value of life’ that we are teaching our children today then until their 30 years old (like me!!) he or she would still have no idea what life is all about?

In the mission trip in Philippine, I see human’s life in a new light? Being a human is never about ourselves, but it is always about others. The world sucks and that is the truth. Poverty is happening, people are being killed, crimes are rising, people lost their loved ones, children are starving, woman are being abused, a father lost his job, a mother lost her unborn child; with all these pain and hurdle of life, if we are teaching the young generation that life is all about themselves and let’s not care about the matters of the neighbor then human being holds a very sad future. You and I will be living in a very sad world.


I see life when a 2 years old boy (almost) who has not been eating for 2 days or more was being provided noodle for that evening. It was probably the first solid food he ever tasted since that week.

I see life when the starving parents who also have not been eating any solid food for the week came to the feeding center after we left to eat the leftover.

I see life when a pastor and his wife sacrifice their life, their sleep, their dream and their saving to set up more feeding center so that more hungry children will be fed.

I see life when a sad rough young boy smiled and laughed at the puppet show that was put up by sis Grace and myself. (That smiled melted my heart)

I see life when we kneeled in prayer with these children asking Jesus to save and help them.

DAY ONE (19 May 2009)

The seven of us reached Diasdado Macapagal International Airport at about 10:30AM. Chuan was nearly quarantine in the airport because he had some cough and flu haha.. and the news few months back about the Abu Sayyaf kidnapped the Redcross workers in Philippine are still wondering in my head. I was both excited and thrill of the adventure.

Once we were there, we were being greeted warmly by Pastor Tabadar and his wife, Brother Reuben and his wife Phoebe and also Pastor Titus and his wife. Even before we have the chance to breathe-in the air in Philippine, we were ferried to the first Feeding Center in Amsic, which lead by Pastor Felix.

Pastor Felix explained to us the poor living condition of the villagers in Amsic, some of them even cook with kerosene because they are too poor to buy gas or charcoal. Pastor Felix expressed his concern for the teenagers especially those young ladies who grow up to work in pub or as prostitute. It is because this helps them to earn fast money.

As we were traveling to Amsic we saw many pubs along the way and there were many young ladies who are working for the pubs. As such age, they should be given education and a bright future should have been awaiting them. Unfortunately, because of poverty they don’t stand a chance for both.
Psalm 9: 18 “But the needy will not always be forgotten,
nor the hope of the afflicted ever perish.”

We also visited AMG Skilled Hands Training Center in somewhere that I do not know where. It is a vocational school for teenagers, in giving them training for work. Some of them learn to fix electronic items and some are trained for construction works.

The huge number of girls that are taking the electronic classes impressed me. Wohohoh Girls rules!! Can u imagine when the TV spoiled and the wife said ‘No worries hubby, I can fix it in a minute time! While the boys watched and be amazed FUYOHHH!!

I was truly blessed by the friendliness of the girls in the training center. We had some good time chatting and we shared a common interest together, which is taking pictures!! I think girls all over the world would have this common interest; we just love to take picture. Pose, pose, and pose, Girls!!

By the time we reached Brother Reuben’s house it was almost 12 midnight.

DAY TWO – (20 May 2009)

Brother Reuben was late in picking us up!!! Hehe =) It was ok... grace and I had more time to take more pictures.

We had fast food “Jolibee” for breakfast. I would think that Malaysian is a fan for rice but I realized people in Philippine are not just a fan but they are crazy for rice!! And man, they would eat rice for breakfast, lunch, dinner, tea time, supper and all the time!! Yup, so you can guess what we had for breakfast that day. RICE in a fast food outlet!!

We are truly blessed to meet with the missionary Brother Bill Ossion and his wife. The wife was sharing her experiences and love for the people in Philippine with Sis Vivian, Grace and I. It was a blessed time to hear from her. Her heart is for the Muslim in the Philippine, she shared how much these people need Jesus but sadly the workers are few.

Matthew 9:37 “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into the harvest field.”

Amazing grace... how sweet the sound

This morning as I was mediating in my Lord's teaching, I learned two important lessons. I'm afraid that I would forget this great lesson so I need to jot it down somewhere. hehe

1) Troubles in life is not always BAD. As for a Christian, troubles in life is an open door for us to experience His grace and power. If we would just endure for another minute in our trouble to come to God in persistent prayer and to wait upon Him, we will then have the privilege to see God work through our troubles. I know how difficult it is to be shaken and to easily taking matter in our own hand when troubles come, but if we took the matter in our own hand we would had missed the privilege and blessing of seeing God solving our problem in His power and grace. As for a Christian, our trouble always end with HOPE IN CHRIST.

2) I learned that once we became a Christ's follower, we are immediately given a task to fulfill. It is like when you became a doctor, you are to fulfill the task to save life and help the sick. When you became a soldier, you are to fulfill the task to protect your nation and the citizen. When you became a teacher, you are to fulfill the task to teach the student. When we became a Christian we are to fulfill the task to win souls for Jesus, that is our ultimate role, our ultimate calling not for a certain Christians, not just for the church leaders, but for everyone who trust and believe in Jesus Christ.

2 Timothy 4:5-6 (New International Version)
But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.

However, sadly many treated their Christian faith as a religion which to me religion fall into the same category as hobby.

The whole illustration is if you are a doctor but not fulfilling our role to save people but instead you did not practice what you had learned in medic school but instead you did something else which less important.